I wish I could give proper credit for this but I don't remember where I got it.....
How many horsepersons or horses does it take to change a light bulb?
Western pleasure riders: Oh, my God! Someone change that bulb; my silver and spangles have to sparkle, and my diamond studs need to flash in the light, and the highlighter on Old Peanut Head's nose absolutely, positively must look shiny! You -- without all the silver on your saddle; obviously you can't ride -- you change it.
Endurance rider: Light bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my horse's pulse/respiration/ hydration down to respectable levels. Then, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb.
Dressage queen: Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very idea!
Classical dressage queen: These things must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, and will forever be in the shadow of its true self. And, never, ever use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb; that is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.
Eventers: Wuss! I'll change it as soon as my arm is out of this sling, broken after falling off at that large stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross country. Until then, deal with the dark; it'll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders need lights, anyway.
Natural horseman: You must instill respect in the light bulb using my easy to follow instructions on the "Light Bulb Dynamics" video set, available for only $179.00 on my Web site, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb. Once you have done that, you will find there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you, when you use my patented "Light Bulb Coaxer" for only $99.00, behave as all good light bulbs should.
Hunter rider: Well, I'm waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how, but he's changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.
Back yard horse person: Do I have to do everything??!! Oh yeah, I guess I do. Well, I'll get to it as soon as I'm done mucking stalls, cleaning and filling the water tank, cleaning and filling the water buckets, raking and sweeping, stacking the hay, setting up for night feeding, cleaning my tack, picking out manure from the paddock, brushing and exercising the horses, and whatever else needs to be done.
Thoroughbred: Who me? Do what? I'm scared of light bulbs! I'm outta' here!
Arabian: Someone else do it. It might get my silky mane dirty and besides, who's gonna read me the instructions?
Quarter horse: Put all the bulbs in a pen and tell me which one you want.
Shetland: Give it to me. I'll kill it and then we won't have to worry about it anymore.
Friesian: I would, but I can't see where I'm going from behind all this mane.
Warmblood: Is the 2nd Level Instruction Packet in English? Doesn't anyone realize that I was sold for $75,000 as a yearling, but only because my hocks are bad, otherwise I would be worth $100,000? I am NOT changing light bulbs. Get the TB back here and make him do it.
Morgan: Me! Me! Me! P-l-e-e-e-a-s-e let me! Just watch; I know how, really I do! And, when I'm done, we can go over to the neighbors' yard and chase their cats!
Appaloosa: Ya'll are a bunch of losers. We don't need to change the light bulb; I ain't scared of the dark. And, someone stop that damn Morgan from jumping up and down before I double barrel 'im.
Haflinger: That thing I ate was a light bulb?
